Dimorphous Expression w/ Are You Garbage?

Bad Friends

Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino

Comedy, Stand-up

4.8 • 13.3K Ratings

🗓️ 6 October 2025

⏱️ 82 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/c/badfriends Thank you to our Sponsors: SimpliSafe, Kachava, Zocdoc, ShipStation & Cash App • SimpliSafe: now, our listeners can save 50% on a SimpliSafe home security system at https://SimpliSafe.com/BADFRIENDS. • Kachava: Go to https://kachava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% off your next order. • Zocdoc: Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/BADFRIENDS to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. • ShipStation: Upgrade to ShipStation today to get a sixty-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/badfriends. • Cash App: Download Cash App* Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/hhm54e0a #CashAppPod YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Audio Subscribe: https://apple.co/31Jsvr2 Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Triangle of Face Sadness 5:00 Captain Beefheart 10:00 Bombing In Front of Celebrities 15:00 3 Cartwheels 20:00 You Forgot My Birthday? 25:00 Hurricane Hook Ups 30:00 We're Getting Raptured 35:00 Dimorphous Expression 40:00 Pier 11 45:00 Are You Garbage? 50:00 Small Piece 55:00 Denied at Dixie 1:00:00 Bottom Bunk Guy 1:05:00 Bad Gigs 1:10:00 Playing the Field 1:15:00 Finding Our Biological Parents More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbylee.live More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@7EQUIS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ *As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.com/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This video contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, bad friends.
0:01.3	Come see me live. I'm running around the country. I'm going to be in San Francisco at the punchline at the end of October, Halloween weekend. Then I'm in Brea. Brea, come out and see me, Brea, California, November. Tempe Improv, returning to Arizona State. I'm in Hammond, Indiana, and November around Thanksgiving. Windsor, Ontario, Canada, Bethlehem, PA, Hanover, Maryland, Atlantic City, New Jersey.
0:23.6	And then Valley Center with the Harrah's down there in Southern California by San Diego.
0:27.6	And then also Canyonville, Oregon in February.
0:30.8	And then finally, Win Casino.
0:32.5	I'm at the win in Las Vegas in March.
0:34.0	Come see me at the win in Las Vegas, baby.
0:36.9	Andrew Santino.com for those tickets, Andrew Santino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends. I went to the doctor last night. I know what happened, though? Two nights ago. Well, I saw it close up. Is their wife beating you? Are you okay? Blink twice? Fuck. Of all people that talk about their wife beating them? You're the biggest I've ever met. You're king. You get pegged every night. Because I want to. No. That's what what they all say It's sexual assault every night Dude No you know what it is A tear So we guessed what this was in my eye My eye got worse It's called bleatheritis Blethoritis How do you get it Infection of the gland Within the eye Could have been like dirt or whatever got up in my eye. Yeah. And then.
1:28.0	Bobby touch you.
1:29.1	Bobby touch you.
1:30.0	He's on one today.
1:30.8	You want to fight today?
1:31.9	Yeah, I did.
1:40.1	I miss it. Yeah. He said something to me earlier. I had to physically assault him. What do you say? It was something about. Ah. Yeah, yeah. Got a lot of nerve, dude.
1:41.2	You got a lot of nerve, dude.
1:42.4	I went into the urgent care.
1:45.9	Urgent care took no less than two and a half, three hours to even get in.
1:47.2	And the woman gets in and goes,
2:01.1	who poach? dude. You got a lot of nerve, dude. I went into the urgent care. Urgent care took no less than two and a half, three hours to even get in. And the woman gets in and goes, who poked you in the eye? Really? And I said life. And she goes, oh, that's a good one. And she goes, this looks infected. It actually looks pretty bad. We should get this medication. Here, this is the worst part when you go to a doctor. She goes, we're going to get you eye drops.
2:03.0	You have to do two every four hours,
2:03.9	two in your eye, right?
2:04.9	And antibiotics.
	...

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